Friday, July 16, 2010

~my life~

Ermm today, I was thinking a lot I think..
I think about what was my friends words before this.. it was during my foundation time..
That time I wish that all what she said is not true, but now I believe that she is true..
Maybe I’m to dingy an unfolded my tudung..huhuu besides I’m chubby.. that is why I feel that I’m not in the attention,hahah I’m to serious n always easily mad at my classmate.. I’m stubborn so there is no one like me..(my friends word)

I don’t care much at that time, I wish that I can change, need someone to change me.. whole of my life..but I think there is no one.. so I wait till now, there is no one can change me but only I can change myself…
I remember that My friends said to me, why don’t you wear your tudung and fold it, it will looks more nice and suits you well, yesterday N asking for A to help her with her tudung, then I say that there is no one who will help me fold my tudung.. after a while then N help me with my tudung, she folded my tudung and she said that I look nice if I fold my tudung, that night I’m going to the class with fold my tudung, I’m appreciate her helps a lot.. thanks N.

Today, I’m wearing the other types of tudung because all my tudung need to be wash.. I don’t have time but I’ll wash them tomorrow…insyaAllah. I’m went to the english class today with N, while waiting for her downstairs, H called me asking whether there is english class or not.. after I end the phone conservation, I wait for N. when the 1st she saw me.. she smile.. that time I was playing with the cute little kitten.. and when I entered the class S is smiling to me.. I feel really ackward that time.. feel like the way all around me react is different from before… same as yesterday.. is it my feeling or it is the real thing… from that time my mind wondering a lot… then I asked S, why did you smile at me just now, then she said you look so different, and it suits you better, it looks nice on you, for both day, yesterday and today..

I have a midterm test tonight.. I think that I’ll not pass my exam this semester..i don’t know, I just think so.. what I’m going to do now? I also don’t know yet, but what can I do now is I want to go home n help my little sister then I’ll think bout myself…

Do u want to know what is my wish,huhuu it’s a secret but now it will be no more secret..huhuu during my foundation, I always said that I want to get know “abang hacker” hahah till now I’m waiting for my destiny to meet a hacker.. huhuu I don’t know why..

I wish that I can be the happiest person in this world, but I can’t.. hurm there is too much thing that i want but all of it can’t be fullfill and can’t be granted also.. so I just have to forget all those thing.. and now my only chance to fullfill one of my wish is by blogging.. I wan to share my opinion with others.. even so I post it also at my facebook.. I hope that everyone will read it and change themselves to become more better than before..
I wish that someday there will be someone who can understand me without me telling what was my feeling.. is it I’m not beauty as others? It’s up to you to judge.. I’ll not going to think it anymore it makes me stress.. I know that I’m not genius! I’m not intelligent or with a good memory but I’ve try my best it still doesn’t change no matter what I do..

I’m still like this.. I hate myself but there is nothing I can do.. so I’’ll just like me.. I can’t be anyone else. There is someone that tell me, I can’t be anyone else, and they can’t be me.. he was C. and also my lecturer madam suziana said that you are special person because Allah only makes you one and there is no one like you, you are unique and your eyes, face, voice, ideas, character, and all about you.. that makes you so special.. you are choosen to be here because you are the one.

I’m happy now that I have just come home.. I’m relieve..

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